Word of the Year | Columbus Wedding Photographer
Sometimes it seems that life just wants to go the exact opposite way you desire it to. In the past six months Andrew and I have desired so much to change but along the way I felt like nothing was even budging. I have had a real heart to heart with myself over the word “control” lately. I tend to be an idea machine and when something goes south I find ways to take control of the situation. I want to rescue situations and feel that there is ALWAYS something with in my own control that can change the outcome. With my faith, a mentality like this is crippling.
The last six months I thought I was doing great at this “letting go” and “trusting’ thing. We gave up a full time salary, risked our business, gave up a house of our own, and packed our stuff into a storage unit. I thought.. this IS letting go. But the truth is for the last six months I have been working tirelessly to get ourselves OUT of this situation and try to make something happen faster. I have complained and come up with every idea under the sun to get us a place of our own, make money to pay my dental bills, and lastly.. to try to have a baby. With fertility there is only about a million ideas on the internet to try to have a baby. From one idea to the next is exhausting. From what you eat, drink, to how you sleep, work out, and the list goes on. I have done everything with in my own power to have a baby, to try and pay our bills, to find a foundation for our family.. but I have forgot the one thing I am supposed to do.
Pray. Let it go. Hand it over. Relinquish my control. Lay it down. Forget about it. Rest. Breathe. I have forgotten completely. My heart knows but my mind never remembers. As I pray and think on our 2016 I have found the word for this next year. It is not glamorous and every time I look at the word my heart actually hurts. That is how I know I have the right word. Letting go of having a baby is tough stuff. Letting go of our finances and our business… that is tough too. But my heart knows that when you truly let go and trust in Jesus that everything is in His hands. My heart desires for Him to have His way but when my hands are gripped so tightly I know He can’t move as easily. So this year I want to move out of the way. I want to let go.
Our word for the year is “RENOUNCE”. All year, as things come up and we become tempted to grab ahold and fix things ourselves I want to have the strength to move out of the way. To RENOUNCE means to refuse or resign a right or position, especially one as an heir or trustee. Who are we to think that we are the trustees of this all? It is all HIS and FOR Him. What a reminder to live by every day! I have hope that in the act of letting it go FOR REAL and truly allowing Him to have free reign in every area of our life that we will see more things happen in our lives. It may look different but I know with Jesus that His ways are always better. So here is to a year of renouncing and letting it go.
Sharing, serving, and celebrating,
Andrew + Chrissy