“Momma, why does He say no?” That was the question Emlyn asked after not saying a word for a whole 10 seconds on our way out of the grocery store. I quickly asked “Who baby?” She replied.. “Jesus, why does He tell us no to having a baby?”. I took a deep breath. Thoughts came crashing in and I wanted to be sure I answered this carefully.
To take a step back and give you more background… Andrew and I have never really intentionally talked to her about our struggle with infertility but she has directly asked a million times about a sibling. She watches shows and movies with babies. She has friends who have little brothers or sisters. I don’t know of a day that has passed in the last year she hasn’t asked about us having our own baby.
Is this not a question our whole world asks? Why do bad things happen? Why does God allow something for someone but not for someone else? Why not now? Why does He tell me no? We all ask why to God. To hear my little three year internalize this already was something that stunned me. I quickly prayed and lifted the pain I felt in my heart in that moment. I replied to her..”I don’t think Jesus ever tells us NO. I think Jesus tells us “I have something better!” or “It is just not the time.”
As I strapped her into her seat leaving the store tears started rolling down my face. He isn’t telling me no. It sunk in to a deeper part of my heart. I was reminded today of the story of the little girl who had a fake set of pearls she loved. Her daddy kept asking for her to give them to him but she wouldn’t give them up. He begged of her and finally she surrendered. In return he put in her hand a brand new necklace. REAL pearls. Today I was reminded of this story as I drove home. That Jesus isn’t trying to take things away or simply reject our needs and desires. He isn’t saying no. He has something REAL and BETTER He wants to give us. His heart is always for our good.
I don’t know about you but this small truth is just what I needed reminded of today. I am thankful my little three year already asks questions to understand Gods heart. Today I trust Him a little more because of her and I hope maybe you do too.
*Here are some more photos from her latest “pretend” play time. This time she was pretending to be me! She nailed it! 😀
Sharing, serving, and celebrating,
Andrew + Chrissy