greater

Maybe I play things up in my head or maybe I am just so used to writing and sharing my heart with you that I look into it too much. I have this feeling eating away at me that I am not communicating what is “going on”. I don’t mean our cute inventory posts or a weekend wrap up full of everything we ate and the people we saw and the beautiful things we got to capture. No. That is just stuff. What I am saying is I get this burn in my heart that I need to be more transparent, I need to show what is going on..I need to write, explain and shine the light on some hard spots. Over the next few weeks we plan to share a lot with you on the practical side about how our life is changing. It is changing in a lot of ways and we are excited to share those things but I would be bold face lying if I said we weren’t scared in many ways. Facebook and social media posts can be full of exciting announcements but they have a way of creeping into the pain of so many others struggling in areas. Andrew and I have so much to rejoice about but we never want to present that we are perfect and that life is always easy. One area may look like it is really great but I wanted to share THIS before sharing the things that are exciting to us.

The last few months feel like a total blur to me. Ok that sounds dramatic but I promise I have good reason. I wish that I could sit down and write a million business tip tuesdays based off of the things we have been doing RIGHT but I feel like we could give you way more education by sharing with you what we have been doing WRONG. Moving three times in one year, living in a different state, living in a construction zone and pizza shop, all might have SOMETHING to do with our lack of doing great things…lol.. but in my opinion there is no excuse for some of the things I want to share with you.

We have had NO plan- The last few months we have been flying by the seat of our pants. No really. Andrew is full time at home but we haven’t really set a structure in place. We have had to deal with many things over the last few months, we will share more of the details on that, but we are seriously just living day to day. Our vision isn’t real clear. We aren’t sure what we should be focusing on and we have so much to do that we feel like we have nothing to do. We know now looking back over the last few months that we need to gear up, get our heads on straight and reach out for some help. We need someone to help us, show us what we can not see and more importantly we need to sit down and really think about what we want in our personal life and with our business. Our vision in this new season has to be more clear. I thought we knew what it was but when Andrew came on full time, honestly the whole view looks completely different now.It is time to re-adjust!

We have been dumb financially- We have not saved like we should, we have not cut corners to cut spending and we haven’t been GIVING in areas we know we should. We are overwhelmed and there is no excuse. We have had so much cost hit us with my dental bills, medical expenses, renovations, school loans, you name it that I feel we have just let it get the best of us. Looking at our finances it is amazing what God has sustained through it all. We know now looking back that we have to rely on Jesus more and quit trying to tread water. We need to operate out of faith and not fear with our finances and also not act like we don’t have debt.. because we do! This all sounds so easy but this is hard stuff right here.

We have been sensitive- Every inquiry that comes in and chooses not to book us.. it has hit us a lot harder. New season, new state, new clients, and lots of uncertainties. We have started to put our hope in bookings more and wonder WHY we don’t have more. I know ALL photographers and other creatives deal with this but I feel we have really played this up because of the added stress of this being our ONLY income and wondering if this dream of ours is really going to work! We question our work, our pricing, if we should get jobs, if we said something wrong, or not enough or we just aren’t cool..Ha! Who knows! The point is we know looking back this is another area that we have spent too much time in and have allowed it to keep us from seeing things the way we should.

There are many more areas of weakness I COULD share with you but I don’t want to revel in all of our pity and shame. I want to share that over the last few weeks that God has been chasing after my heart. At times I feel like our bravery and faith has casted us out into a deep ocean where we are treading water alone. “We jumped so this is what we get!” .. So NOT true! I know in my heart that God never leaves us and we are never alone. The one thing that has become more clear to me these last few weeks is that HE FIGHTS for us. Honestly, we have been fighting hard but apparently we have only been fighting ourselves. Trying to find, search, figure out what we are doing wrong or right. The realization in my heart that we have a God who is ALWAYS fighting for us, who has already overcame… we can rest in that and that right there is setting my heart free. I can’t let our long list of failures and “woh is me’s” keep us down. There isn’t a perfect business plan out there for us, sure getting some advice is great but God is the only one who is victorious. Through Him we know we can stand and fight any battle we face.

Greater is the one WITHIN us. He is fighting for us always, He is fighting for us ALL. Even you who may not even know if He is real or not.. He fights for you. You who loves Him but don’t know how to give up all the things that take you away from Him.. He is fighting for you ALWAYS. Rest and let go of all the things you are wrestling with.. He is greater than anything you are facing.

Greater is the one who’s in us
Greater is the one who calls our name
He will never fail
Stronger is the one within us
Stronger is the one who fights for us
He will never fail
You will never fail
For Your love endures forever
Oh Your love endures forever
Open up our eyes, surround us with Your light
Your love endures forever
Mighty is the one who’s for us
Mighty is the one who’s strong to save
He will make a way
You will make a way
For Your love endures forever
Oh Your love endures forever
Open up our eyes, surround us with Your light
Your love endures forever
Our God is fighting for us always
Our God is fighting for us all
Our God is fighting for us always
We are not alone, we are not alone
Our God is fighting for us always
Our God is fighting for us all
Our God

Sharing, serving, and celebrating,

Andrew + Chrissy