Why Waiting is Worth It | Business Tip Tuesday, Personal
Yesterday’s blog post stirred up in me to share more and I want to take you one step further. Have you ever felt like you SEE it? You THINK you know what SHOULD be happening but you feel like there is a huge canyon between where you are now and where you want to be? You are ready for what is NEXT and ready to move away from the now but why is it not happening? I often giggle because I remember when I first walked into a church as a young teen someone told me that the Lord giggled with me all the time and loved that He had to pull me by the back of my shirt like a toddler running through a grocery store. Through out my life since then I have felt moments where I try to get ahead of what God is allowing to unfold in my life and I actually stop and giggle. I get the image in my head of Him pulling me by my shirt. Not in an aggressive “you stop what you are doing” way but in a “Nah ahh ahhh little girl not yet, hold on it’s coming!”. As I look back over my different seasons of waiting in the past it encourages me in my current waiting. It allows me to breathe, let go and remember what is produced in the waiting.
Story number ONE: When I was a little girl I always dreamed of moving FAR away from home. When I was 15 I made up my mind that I would move to Australia at one point. Then when I was 16 I fell in love with a school and church in Virginia Beach and knew that I would run there! I went through so many battles and doors being shut but when I was 18 I had a roommate lined up finally, an apartment, and I was just about done being registered for school. I was finally making those dreams happen. I felt like I SHOULD have been born at the beach and I was finally going to get to go where I should have been all along. Just a few short weeks before I was to leave I realized that this boy I had been working with at the bookstore.. was more than likely my husband. I was actually pretty mad about it at the time but I knew in that moment God revealed that the time wasn’t “now”. I let it go. I cried. But it was my first experience ever with God where I wanted something so bad but I had to trust that it wasn’t something I could make happen.. He had to make it happen. If what I thought should have happened.. happened.. More than likely I would never have married Andrew and I can’t even dream of what that life would have looked like. I am still not at the beach or far away from home but God did take me to PA for 7 years and I know our story doesn’t stop there.
Story number TWO: Not long into our marriage I had lost my job. Here I was 21, married, in PA and I had no college education. I just had a job that paid the bills and now it was gone. It left me feeling embarrassed. So many times I had tried to enroll in school and it never seemed to work out. The money wasn’t there, denied financial aid, missed the registration time, and every reason under the sun. Finally I was at a place where I had all the peace in the world that it was time to go to school. Because of the timing I was provided with a ton of financial help and had such an amazing college experience. It was so much later in life than I would have ever wanted but there was so much blessing in the waiting. Because of my professor at that little community college, I found photography. I was only there for Graphic Design but he kept pushing photography and encouraging me to do more. What would life have looked like if I would have been able to go to school earlier? If I wouldn’t of waited? What degree would I have had?
Story number THREE: After we had been married a few years I couldn’t shake the feelings I was dealing with. I could distinctly remember the doctors saying in passing that conceiving would be hard for me but that I would cross that bridge later. Here we were two years in with no birth control plan ever and I knew something was not right. We started down the journey of infertility and were stunned to find out it wasn’t just one of us.. It was both of us. They allowed me to go on medication for six months and if not the second option was an option we weren’t willing to take. Three and half years in, on the sixth month of our medication.. we conceived! Here is the crazy thing though. That six month was January of 2012. Just two weeks before we conceived I had a revelation. I wanted to turn the “nursery” into an office and I was going to listen to my college professor and start a photography business. I was ready to let go of the baby and focus my attention on just doing something I loved. It was my scape goat for my pain. It was my distraction. I started my business January 1st 2012 and I found out I was pregnant three weeks later! The day I graduated from college was the day we found out we were having a little girl. I look back now and I realize something. IF I would have had the vision and drive for my business like I do NOW.. THEN.. I would probably have been petrified to have children and may have even chose the dream of my business over a family. Somehow in my heart I know that God knew I was stronger than I would have ever thought and birthed my heart for business FIRST and then gave us our child. Through the pain of infertility came my passion and drive as an entrepreneur. I know for a fact I would have never thought it was possible to be a MOM and have a business. I look at all we accomplish now as a family in our personal and business life and how well our life works and I just laugh. His timing is everything.
Story number FOUR: This one is still being written but I want to make a point. Looking over my previous stories of waiting, and trust me there are SO many more.. I can see where God worked all things for my good like His word says. I can see that in those periods of waiting I was shaking my fist, mad at the world, and complaining my way through life. I don’t quite do that anymore but I do have my moments. Here we are nearly 4 years after having our first baby asking a lot of the same questions. We have had more struggles than just infertility and have fought hard lately in so many areas. I have fought and asked God why we have to be HERE in this place, this season.. In this place of waiting! We can’t buy a house because of all of our moving and job changes. We can’t seem to have a baby when we want. Our business has been transplanted and we THINK we should be further along. Our ministry is kind of up in the air and we are not sure what EXACTLY the Lord has us doing here.. From our finances, to physical bodies .. you name it.. Honestly every area of our life feels on hold and in the waiting season. But I do know this. There is so much blessing that will come out of THIS season of waiting and it almost excites me to think I will get to tell you what is on the other end one day. Yes I still get frustrated and have my “why” moments. I woke up in one today actually. But at the core of my heart I can look back and know that there is something beautiful going to come out of THIS season of waiting and I will rest from GLORY to GLORY.
So maybe you too feel caught up. You feel stuck. You feel like you should have a baby in your arms that you don’t, you feel like you and your business should be further along, you feel like you should be married, or living in California.. You name it. Can I tell you something? That story YOU have written in your head, the one you think your life SHOULD look like right now. It doesn’t even compare to the one ahead of you! What is being birthed inside of you in the waiting is something you can’t concoction up yourself. It is only something He can build and make in the waiting and when you get on the other side of this thing, the diamond you get to hold in your heart is worth all of it. So yes, here I am in a long season of waiting. I hurt just like you. I have my days and tears and “WHY WHY WHY” moments. We all do. We all are transitioning from season to season and even the earth groans with us as life changes. At the core of my heart I know I have someone I can trust in and that no amount of worry or fear is going to produce what HE can in these moments. Rest. Breathe. Let it go and let Him unfold the most beautiful life for you. It is so much better than your wildest dreams and desires. He had a story for you and I promise it is good. Don’t take this season of waiting as God telling you no. Take it as He just has something better. Something He wants to produce in you. Trust me that the story He writes is so much better. I am so glad that all of my ideas and unanswered prayers never happened. I hope you can say the same for your life.
CHALLENGE: Go ahead and look back at what was produced in your own life through waiting. What would life have looked like if a door had opened or closed? What came into your life that you would have never of planned for? Use those moments to stand on in your current or future seasons of waiting.
Sharing, serving, and celebrating,
Andrew + Chrissy